Midnight Random Thoughts

Ang daming naiisip sa madaling araw no?

1. Hanggang ngayon naiisip ko padin kung may nasabi ba akong mali.

2. Naiisip ko padin kung ano’ng purpose ko sa mundo.

-pero on the contrary, minsan alam mo yun.. It starts with you. If you keep on thinking on your purpose in life and not doing anything, then wala talagang mangyayari. Get up and do something para malaman mo yung purpose mo sa earth.

3. Sana okay lang si baby Bon #2 despite not eating well due to #LihiStruggles.

4. Parang I don’t feel like celebrating Christmas pero walang choice kasi after all, life goes on. And iniisip ko nalang I’m doing this for mama.

5. Minsan naiisip ko bakit kailangan kong magtago. I keep on wearing this mask that makes everybody see na ok ako pero the truth is, I’m shattered. I’m hurting, grieving, broken. Subsob na ko sa floor, pwede na ko magpalamon sa lupa.

-Pero who will listen? And what will they do if they find out? When the only one that can heal me is also myself. Kaya sulat nalang.

6. Minsan feeling ko nababaliw na ko. Pero di pa naman.

-and I don’t have suicide tendencies, to make it clear.

7. Napaisip ako sa para kanino ako bumabangon.

-bcos I wake up for my family. Hindi naman ako pwedeng magpakadapa sa kama maghapon. I have a daughter who needs me. My mom and my husband as well. Pero ung totoo, gustong gusto ko ng isang araw na mag-iiyak lang ako sa kama at pagkatapos, itutulog ko lang.tapos kinabukasan, refreshed na ulit ako. Para bang gadget siguro na need lang ng reboot o restore factory default. Sana may ganun in real life.

8. Sana bukas sipagin ako.

9. Kaiwan-iwan ba ako?

10. Do I deserve all the love I have? O darating din yung araw na iiwan nila ako?

-and if I’m not deserving, sana pwede akong mag-request ng shut down.

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