Sad News Came In Today

One of our beloved tatay tatayan in the student council, sir Felix, passed away.

He started the Nagkakaisang Tugon Party Alliance, our party for the student elections.

I met him in my first LTS circa 2008, the same LTS where I met my now husband. I was honestly afraid of him because the first time I saw him, he was drinking alcohol. We were in Luisa Ridge for the three-day seminar. First night yun, dalawa lang kami ni Angel sa assigned room. Dun sila nagstay -kuya Jerric, kuya Franz, kuya Marc, sir Felix. Bago ako nun, hindi ko pa sila kilala. Nung gabing yun, nandun sila, naglaro, nagtawanan, nagkwentuhan. Hindi ako makatulog, niyaya nila ako, naki join naman ako. Ayun, walang tulog! Takot ako nun sa kanya, dahil nga may phobia ako sa nag-iinom. He was the only one drinking. Siguro, with all the all-night kulitan, chikahan, whatsoever, nawala yung takot ko sa kanya. He’s not the kind of drunk I’d be scared of anyway. Then I found out he’s actually a nice guy, kind hearted and loving. And funny. He and sir Allan became our tatay in the student council.

The year that followed, his home became our secret headquarters for the elections. That’s when I learned that Red Horse is his buddy, drinking is his nightly ritual.

Fast forward to present. Nung nakita ako last week na naospital sya, napa-shet nalang ako. Nagcomment pa ko sa post ng sister nya and I really prayed he’d get better soon. Akala ko, yun bang usual confinement na 3 to 5 days lang.

Sir F, as I call him. He was never my professor, he was from another college. I never get to see him as much as I see sir Allan and sir Clems of SAO. But he had a huge space in my heart. And I will always remember him as a hardcore drinker but a very lovable person. I will always remember his malambing tone and corney jokes. When I learned that he passed away, his face never left my mind. I’m gonna miss him.

Sa totoo lang, I don’t really know what to write here. So forgive me kung hindi masyadong organized yung thoughts dito. I only want to let this out. When I learned about his passing, nagflashback talaga sakin lahat ng moments na nagkita kami and lahat yun may tawang kasama. Jolo’s been reminiscing too. “Kung makakabalik lang ako sa 2007 habang nag-iinom kami, sasabihan ko sya na last na yun. Kasi after ten years mamamatay sya.” Half joke. Pero I know deep inside he truly feels sad about his passing. He’s one of his mentors in UE. Yeah, drinking buddy, too. Madalas daw silang umiinom talaga dati. Sabi nya, may depression si sir F but he never mentioned what happened. Nobody knows.

What could be more lonely than the passing of someone you value? What could be more painful than a goodbye that means the end? But what could be more relieving than knowing he’s in a happier and more peaceful place now?

Goodbye’s the saddest word I’ll ever hear

Goodbye’s the last time I will hold you near

Someday you’ll say that word and I will cry

It’ll break my heart to hear you say goodbye.

You’re forever in our hearts, sir David Victor Felix.

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