Dream and Reality

When I was younger and thinking about having my own family, I used to see myself as a housewife for some time. I dreamed of taking care of my kids and then get back to work when they’re about 3, 5 years old. I grew up with my stay at home sisters and I saw how they’ve raised they children but I don’t like the idea of being a housewife for the rest of my life. You see, I am a competitive person. Hindi ako nagpapatalo.I don’t want to lose the career I used to have. I still have my goals in the career world. But at the same time I want to take care of my own family. I honestly want to be the best working mom.

Watching a primetime teleserye on TV, I told myself, Dawn is an ideal housewife – a woman of simplicity and class. If you’ve watched her movie “A Love Affair’, you’ll be amazed at how she remained calm and classy in confronting her husband’s woman. I got a jaw drop when I saw the scene. So There, I told myself I wanna be like the role she portrays.

Last night, I talked to my husband. I cannot get back to work soon. When I give birth, I have to fulfill mommy tasks. I don’t want my child to be left to any of our parents. They’re too old to take care of the little darling. I want to find a new job but surely it won’t be as soon as I want to. Besides, surely there’ll be a lot of big adjustments.

So you see, I got so used to the competitive career world and I hate the fact that I need to stop working. That little thought I had a few years back is slowly coming to reality. As much as I hate staying at home, getting back to work as soon as I can may not be an option until a few years from now. In times, it’s depressing. I hate the fact that I can’t help out in the expenses. I feel so useless. I terribly feel so weak. But I can’t be hitting two birds at the same time, right? So I have to choose.

I find it funny that it was only a thought that has changed through time but it is coming to reality. But family above all, and my baby is my priority right now. I used to fill myself with work load. I got a little workaholic that all even at home and in my dreams I am working. I was like that since after graduation. Maybe it’s about time I become the woman of our home. It’s time I think of our little family, especially now that we’re having a little kid.

This is the reality. I dreamed of becoming a successful career woman without realizing I the need to be the family woman. I feared of becoming a mere housewife so much that I forgot about building my own family. I set them aside. I always thought I can do everything. Well, change is on its way and promise to adopt to it wholeheartedly. After all, who wouldn’t love to stay with her little darling?

My dream is to become a successful career woman and maybe, being the woman at home is one of the greatest career I’ll surely be successful on becoming.

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